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ask the readers: my husband is awful at job searching – and gets cranky when he needs to

Per Thursday tradition, I’m throwing this letter out to readers to weigh in on:

My husband is a master’s level professional who is working in “soft money.” So every one, three, or five years, he’s looking for a job again. Oftentimes he’s lucky and he just gets “rehired” (really more like transferred) to a similar or the same job. It looked like that would happen with this position, but the federal money disappeared (like it has for so many scientists doing important work) and he’s on the hunt again.

The thing is, despite being a very accomplished, master’s level, 4.0, rave reviews professional, he turns into a grumpy, annoyed, persnickety, imposter-syndrome-ridden human whenever he has to apply for jobs. He fusses, drags his feet, misses opportunities, and generally is miserable until he’s settled in a new job. He can’t easily exit soft money, the obvious solution. I’ve encouraged him to talk to his therapist about how he feels, but besides continuing to work on his self confidence and self perception, is there anything else you’d recommend? Both for me, and for him?

I’ve tried being involved (getting leads, forwarding, proofreading, etc.) and it doesn’t seem to help. I’ve tried being completely uninvolved and it also doesn’t seem to help.

(I think its the combination of the two issues. If he was just bad at job searching, I could figure out how to best assist him. If he was good with searching but just a crankypants, I could probably manage that as well. But put it together and he’s just flailing and nothing I do is helpful.)

Readers, what’s your advice?

ask the readers: my husband is awful at job searching – and gets cranky when he needs to was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

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